Hunt and Peck

I like to think that when I get older I'm not going to be that person who is resistant to technological change. But given the amount of cursing that's accompanied an update to the look of this blog, I'm now doubting that. You don't need the long drawn out story. Just know that a simple background change took hours and it's not happening again for a very long time.

And on that same line of thought, I lost a year this week. Amelia was asking me how old I was and I told her 34. But then I did the math. It seems I've been 34 years old for the last 18 months. When did I turn 35?

Musings on Mornings

This morning Amelia was telling me that she was the first in line at the classroom door yesterday morning (which is important to her because she likes being early and hates being late). She asked, "Did you push us off to school yesterday or did Dad?" I love that she sees it that way--we're pushing them out the door to school.

And actually, that used to be the case. But recently Kolby taught me a good parenting lesson. After I complained that the girls had been late to school three times in one week, he pointed out that on mornings when I get them off to school I'm constantly reminding the kids what they should be doing and yelling at them for getting off track while I'm making lunches and breakfast for them. On mornings when he gets them off to school he rolls out of bed around 8:00 and they are already up and dressed. While he's showering and getting ready for work they're doing their hair or making their own breakfast. Amelia gets Maddie back on track if Maddie starts doing origami or playing with the cats, and they are usually out the door early. But apparently, if I'm home reminding them what they should be doing, they don't feel the need to take responsibility for themselves.

So I tried the Kolby Method. I got up and poured my coffee and sat down to check my email and guess what? The kids got themselves ready for school. They made their own breakfast and loaded their dishes in the dishwasher. They remembered a snack. And they were out the door on time. And although this did cause me quite a bit of anxiety the first day to just trust that they'd do what they were supposed to do without me telling them, now I love it. Mornings are so much less stressful for all of us without me constantly hollering out the time to them and asking them "What should you be doing right now?!"

Maddie put her hair up in a clip

Amelia made herself a breakfast burrito

and then supervised Madeline's egg-cracking

Madeline prefers a fried egg

and she can flip it without even breaking the yolk.

This does not mean that some mornings don't go badly. A couple weeks ago while I was at school they all overslept. (Usually Amelia wakes up on her own at 7:30 and makes sure everyone else is out of bed by 8:00). But Kolby woke up at 8:15, and got the girls up and they rushed through their morning routine and were all out the door by 8:45. Amelia thanked him about 10 times for waking her up. Kolby and I were so glad this happened, because I imagine she feels a bit of stress in the morning making sure that she and Maddie get up and out the door on time, so it probably took the pressure off to realize that Kolby was there as a reliable back-up.

When I was in 5th grade I used to forget my lunch and flute all the time, and I was forever calling my mom to bring it to school for me. (Although I do remember the crackdown when she said she wasn't doing it anymore.) Well, one of the sacrifices we've had to make with me being in school is that there is nobody here to run a violin or school project to the kids if they forget it. They are definitely more responsible as a result, but there are still days when they forget. Last week I happened to be home on a morning when Maddie forgot her violin. I had walked with them to school that morning, so I told her I'd run home and bring it to her. She was so thankful to have been bailed out this once. I got three hugs and "thank yous" for it, which of course made me feel guilty that I'm not home to do it all the time. But if I was home, she would probably be less responsible and we'd be at the same crackdown point my mom reached with me.

Anyway. My kids are getting big. It's amazing what great human beings they are turning into when I get out of their way.

Break out the Tooniforms!

We received our clinical assignments for next quarter today, and I am doing backflips over mine: I have a preceptorship at Seattle Children's Hospital!!! I am absolutely thrilled to get 120 hours there next quarter to really know if this is something I love and knock their socks off so they'll hire me.

One quarter and two weeks away from being an RN! (And I'm going to stop whining about the bad job market for new grad RN's right now. I will get a job, and I'll get a job doing something I love. Want to know why? Because I freaking LOVE this field, and excitement has to count for something.)

My girls

Last week I had a really sweet 2 year old patient whose parents couldn't be there with him on my shift. So that meant I was nurse/babysitter. We read stories, walked laps pulling the wagon (and IV pole), had a playdate with the girl next door and fought over playdough, and stacked blocks. Between that and studying pediatric development the last couple of weeks, I've been really missing my tiny kiddos! That stage was so much fun--the tea parties, the playparks, children's museum, the zoo, the chubby little thighs, thumbsucking, messy faces, puppy dresses, runs with the jogging stroller. Oh my gosh. I need to stop doing this to myself.

The thing is, I don't think I fully appreciated it at the time. I didn't savor it like I would have if I knew then what I know now--that everyone was right: it really does go by way too fast. I don't think the post-partum blahs really lifted until Amelia was a year old, and when I see a lot of these photos they make me sad because I was a bit of a mess still and I think I missed out on some of the joy. That's not to say I didn't enjoy that time. I did! I loved being a stay-at-home mom to those little girls, and we had so much fun. But I also think that first year of being a mom of two was pretty rough for me, and I wish I could do it over again so I could kiss those chubby thighs and snuggle with sticky girls under a fort in the living room again, fully absorbing all the love and wonder of that time.

5+5=65 or How your lamps became mine.

I was at Goodwill yesterday when this adorable $5 treasure and his identical $5 twin winked at me.

Just five bucks a piece! I thought of you, and how much you would love them sitting on the nightstands in our guest room when you come to visit. So I bought them. For you.

But then I got home, and on my way to the guest room I had to walk past my bedroom. And did you know that I have white and gray bedding? And do you know what looks really good with white and gray bedding? Yellow lamps from Goodwill. No, it's true.

But the problem was, the accent pillows in my bedroom were green. That wouldn't do at all. So today I was at Target buying $15 lampshades for the $5 yellow Goodwill lamps, and guess what else I found? A $25 yellow pillow that looks fabulous with gray and white bedding and yellow Goodwill lamps.

So I'm sorry, even though I bought them for you, they are mine now. But you'll get some really fancy Ikea lamps and some hand-me-down green pillows to keep you company in the guest room when you come to visit.

When I grow up. In June.

I've really enjoyed the last 18 months in nursing school, but it hasn't been until this quarter that I've really been giddy with excitement about what I am learning and doing. This quarter is mother/baby and pediatrics. I knew I would enjoy it, but I didn't really think I wanted to go into either area of nursing. (Don't ask me why--I thought I had my reasons but it took about a week of lectures to realize those reasons were ridiculous.) My clinical rotation at Seattle Children's hospital has been my favorite rotation so far, and it only partly has to do with the 3 week-old patient I had my first week. I enjoyed caring for the 17 year-old every bit as much as the newborn. Kids are fun. They are much cooler patients than grumpy adults. And they'll agree to just about anything for the right color of popsicle.

I still have my labor and delivery/NICU/mother-baby rotation to do, but I am feeling happy to know that I want to go into either pediatrics or maternal health when I graduate in June.

But here's the kicker: if I want to do pediatrics, I'm going to have to keep going to school. And as much as I loved pediatrics, every time I've tried to get myself to fill out the application for University of Washington's RN to BSN program, I feel like barfing. I cannot bear the thought of another five quarters of school right now. Ugh. See I just barfed a little typing that up.

Anyway, that's what's been going on around here. I've had a very crazy schedule this month, and I'm looking forward to a much calmer February. I hope I can be nicer in February, because guess what? I'm not very much fun to be around when I'm busy and stressed out. I don't even like my company. Date night tomorrow night, so maybe Nice Jami will show up. (And I just need to reread this paragraph to know that another 18 months of school should not be up for consideration right now!)

When inspirational posters go wrong

Have you seen this poster? Isn't it motivating? What an amazing story of bravery and survival, right?

That poster hangs in the gymnasium where my daughters have PE and lunch every day. So when I said, "Hey, I'm signing us all up for surfing lessons!" while we were in Maui, can you guess what ran through Amelia's mind? "I'm a fan of both of my arms, thank you very much. Surfing is not for me." And she could not be convinced otherwise. Since snorkeling occurs in the same ocean where surfing occurs, she looked at us with the same "you must be crazy" expression when Kolby suggested snorkeling. She was okay with anything in the ocean that allowed her to keep her feet on the ground (wave jumping, sand castle building, boogie boarding) but not anything that required a swim that would surely also involve sharks. You could just use your own damn arms for shark bait if you were so inclined.

Despite that, we had a great time with surfing lessons and our snorkeling trip out to Molokini Crater and Turtle Town. Amelia was a trooper and tried getting in the water at Molikini to snorkel, but you know when you were a kid and your mom asked you to get a can of corn from food storage in the basement and you'd be okay at first, but on the way back up the stairs you'd get that arched-back-racing-heart-can't-get-up-the-stairs-fast-enough-because-the-boogey-man-is-after-you feeling? That's about how her first, and only, trip into the water for snorkeling went. It might have lasted 1.2 seconds.

But then she sat on the deck and flirted with the completely adorable blond surfer boy who worked on the boat, winning t-shirts for herself and Madeline for saying Humuhumunukunukuapua'a.

The girls got an early Christmas gift from us--a waterproof video camera. They had a lot of fun playing with it in the pool and ocean (until I broke it surfing...luckily it was under warranty).

Learning to surf has long been on my list of things to do before I die. I can't say I learned to surf, but I did learn to catch a wave and stay upright on the board for a period of time.

But given enough tropical vacations, maybe I'll start looking as cool as Maddie on the surfboard?