Who's yo mama?

A few weeks ago we watched our friends' kids while they spent the weekend in the San Juans. Kolby and I overheard this exchange as the kids were playing.

Madeline, daughter of a student nurse, "I'm a pregnant Golden Retriever and my name is Sara and I have four puppies growing in my uterus."

Emily, daughter of a therapist, replies, " I don't want to be a Golden Retriever. Golden Retrievers are so passive-aggressive."

The Monster Mash

So the yearly dilemma....what to be for Halloween. We have a neighborhood party on Friday the 30th that we need to dress up for, and I know what I want to be, but locating a pair of rollerskates is proving to be more difficult than I expected.

The other idea I have is going as Octo-Mom--sweats, big lips, and eight babies.

Or there's always Kate. Maybe I could talk Kolby into going as my Jon. I suggested it, but he said we'd need to find him a girlfriend for his costume to work.

So what this means is that I'm going to be scrambling the day of the party to throw together a costume. Unless one of ya'll has a pair of roller skates to lend me.

Reduced to the most simple pleasures

I think my brain is so overloaded with school learnin' that the only things I can think to write about are cats, dogs, babies, and poop. Yep, that's about right.

First off, my cats are hilarious. But I shouldn't write about them or post any of the many pictures I keep taking of them because I don't want to be known as the Cat Lady.

Secondly, I have no time or energy to watch anything longer than 3 mins and 28 seconds. Just ask Kolby how many times I've fallen asleep in the first five minutes of "Arrested Development." I might finish one episode by the end of the quarter.

I do however, have need for comic relief. So that means I'm relying on silly Youtube videos people have sent me links to. Like my old favorite "Biskit the sleepwalking dog?" Still hilarious. The talking cat? Love him. And these are my two newest favorites. Less than three minutes, good belly laugh, and I'm ready to hit the books again.

And as far as the poop goes? That's just always funny. We've been studying "Elimination" and I still get the giggles from it. For example, did you know that normal poop has an "aromatic and pungent" odor, but abnormal poop smells "foul and objectionable?" Kolby and I decided you really need a second opinion on which category your own falls into. If the other person exhibits a wrinkling of the nose? Aromatic and pungent. A violent recoil accompanied by a look of disgust and inability to look you in the eye again? Foul and objectionable.

I do have to give my family a huge huge thank you for being so supportive of this transition. I am absolutely loving being in nursing school, and the main reason I'm able to love it is because they've made it so easy. Kolby has been extremely helpful around the house and with the girls, and the girls have become quite independent, allowing me to squeeze as much studying into every day as I can. Thanks so much, ya'll!

Shall I title this "BM and Squirt" or "Ring of Fire?"

The only entertaining aspect of the entire eight hours of studying bladder and bowel elimination today (I know...right? Poop, pee, and farts. This should have been fun!) was when Madeline pulled off the post-it note I was using to shield my eyes from a large color photo of a hairy bum crack with an inflamed hemorrhoid. Her visceral reaction made it alllll worth it.

Dear Pajama Girl,

I understand that you stayed up late studying for your first exam last night. But I do think you should have changed out of your pajamas before coming to class this morning. Maybe put on a bra? Brushed your hair? Sometimes those things wake me up a bit. And then after the test? During lecture? When you were so tired that you stretched across three chairs and went to sleep? Your thong was hanging out. I think everyone, including you, would have been happier if you'd just gone home to catch up on some z's.

Sincerely,

Jami

Two down...

I'm in Week 3 now, and so far things haven't been too tough. Lots of reading. Lots and lots and lots of reading. But my stress level is low, and I'm really enjoying my classes, getting to know my classmates, and enjoying the whole process.

Things are getting busier though. This week I have a quiz, a test, and an exam. Next week I have a quiz, a test, and a medication calculations exam. Tests are "skills based" so it's "doing." For example, last week I had to perform a neuromuscular assessment--checking for reflexes, level of consciousness, muscle tone, etc. Exams are traditional multiple choice fill in the bubble on the scantron thing. Except for the med calcs exam next week. That will be lots of math...which gets me all excited because I love me some math.

Two more weeks and I start clinicals! Rumor has it, I might be administering flu shots. Guess I better work on that aversion to needles...

PSA--Timez Attack

So I've meant to post this several times, especially since I used the discount code for telling people about it (honor code). I came across this fantastic math computer game for Madeline for practicing her multiplication this summer. There was no complaining about her Summer math enrichment once she started on this program. She still plays it almost every day, and Amelia has started playing it too (although I'm not sure how often she's getting them correct on her own).

There's a free version and a paid version. We liked it enough to eventually get the paid version so Madeline could get out of the dungeon.

Free game here. Discount code here.